Lately, I get the feeling that I am the dumbest student in the whole wide world. I feel so stupid. I can't even decide on things on my own. In my current status in college right now, I feel like I don't deserve to be here. I'm having a hard time even in using and understanding everything that we have studied before. It's like every topic being reviewed to us is so familiar yet so foreign to me. It feels like everything that I thought must be thought again just to make sure that I'm still in the right path. I'm so dumb, so stupid, so annoying, so useless.
I have a theory: maybe I'm thinking like this because some experiences lowered down my self-esteem. Lowering down of my self-esteem increases doubts in my strengths and principles in life. This is the problem: when people criticize me and say that everything I'm doing is wrong, I have the tendency to believe them. I don't have the courage to contradict what they're saying because even I have already doubted myself. What will I do? How am I supposed to have a life if I have the tendency to let others criticize me and put me down? How am I supposed to move on from this kind of tiring journey in life?
I feel so down.
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